My take on Midlife Crisis

Oct 19 2019;

This is not a gist from reading a book on midlife crisis. It is my attempt to express my observation and share my feelings. After almost ~15 years from my last blog I feel like writing this one. May be that is midlife crises?

The realization of limited possibilities seems like the issue here. When we were 5 we had unlimited possibilities. We could jump on sofa and see if it breaks in 100 jumps or a 1000. We could wake up in the middle of the night and decide to pee on the bed and see what happens, everything was up for try and there would be no consequences.

Grow up a bit and the possibilities shrink and pressure increase to select subjects, sports, schools, friends. The freedom is limited by pressure, because now you cannot select without consequences your parents and the world makes you logical and all your decisions are suppose to have a purpose. We build ambitions to earn money, be famous, play sport, get A+ etc.

However, by the time you are about 40 the ambitions have played out there is hardly any options left in life. You are tied to your kids classes, school, wife, friends, family and there are almost no possibilities. Or atleast the feeling that there are no possibilities sets the midlife crisis.

I wonder why do women not fall in this trap? I thought a lot but women were never my cup of tea, I pass, feel free to comment and let me know what you think. I hope to get some learning that can help the men of mankind!

I realized I am in US!

Jan 2006;
Its time for us to return to India and I just realized I am in US. With Indians all around I never got an opportunity to feel that I am in the most powerful country of the world.

My class at FDU was formed of students from IMT Ghaziabad. The same set of students stayed together in the apartment sharing rooms and bathrooms. Sabji and pyaz form the Indian Market of Jersey City. Americans would require a visa before peeping into the Newark Avenue of Jersey City. I even found few goras speaking Gujarati, may be that is who they got the visa for Newark Ave.

Other than the experience I am just going to mention and few other great smiles on the faces makes you feel you are in US. Telling a nice “HIIII” to every stranger passing by. Find your $400 parcel awaiting you in the open. And of course lovely ladies with smile and a great heart. Sexy girls and the fad of US. You drive 1000 miles and you feel you are deaf! Not a single horn from any car.

At GE where I am an inter from last 4 moths there are the same set of IMTan’s making me feel at India. But yesterday was different.

It was late Friday evening and my supervisor messaged me “come over for abneer at FOX-Hound”! I had no idea what was this and where? The blackberry messages had the Subject “Re: Daily Utilization”. I asked an American colleague, going home, about FOX-Hound. She went to her desk and to my surprise came with a goggle map with exact directions. How can you be so nice? It was tough to get lost with the map I went straight to FOX bar and grill where there were no Indians, must be a costly place.

I see my tall manager waving me sitting on a tall table of the bar with beers and other team members. From the stay here I could make out that an appreciation was a routine. At the Bar the sweet girl comes to me “what would you like"! I grunted and pointing at a beer bottle said, “copy that. No Draft Beer just copy that”. She was like*&(*&^# and my boss intervened and conveyed the name of the beer. Even though I had a pain in my throat I decided to have the cheers with my boss.

The conversation was all about “HAPPY HOUR” Friday evening just before the weekend starts. It was 3:15 and Boss said, “this organization sucks!!! In my previous organization there would be no phone call from Friday noon to Monday morning to disturb”. I had just arranged a meeting with a person sitting write opposite to me and a big boss from asset management at 4:00. I kept mum and decided to listen the conversation. Guess what I heard few innovative slang from my supervisor!!! The conversation was all about their colleagues and I kept listening. But at times, I do not know why, I got a great release from pain in my stomach when I herd my boss passing bad jokes on few other big brothers of the company. The beer was the best I ever had.

They talked of kids and welfare and advising them to focus on sports and rock than on education. “Good education is a pit which makes you work for a living”. I could feel the love Americans have for their families. I was dizzy by the time. Here comes a platter of starters. I have no idea who ordered them but they had taken good care of the Veggie.

Hey I forgot that I got a meeting with somebody and will have to quit this wonderful Happy Hour. I signed the person opposite me who was to join me for the meeting. “Nitin has to leave as he got to pick few friends from office back home” he said to the boss. I thanked the party for the experience and with a light happy heart left running for the meeting. The heart had so much censored information that my stomach was much easy now.

This was the first real cultural exchange experience after coming to US on a J1 exchange Visa. I am writing this sitting at the back of my car passing by the Newark Airport where I first arrived and will soon have to leave this great country through one of these airplanes. I heard Mark, supervisor, talking of Europe and Netherlands as countries he would like to settle in as they have nicer people!! I wish to see some niceness in my fellow countrymen as I go back. Some changes as the nation grows at 9%. I wonder will there be a day when somebody would say he wants to relocate to India because people are nice?